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Lawyer jokes

There are many jokes in the USA about lawyers. They are rather strong, indicating popular discontent with the legal profession. Besides the high cost of legal services, another reason for lawyers begin unpopular is that a large percentage of politicians in the USA are lawyers by education – like Barack Obama, for example.

Joke No. 1:

A man comes into a law office Jones and Smith Attorneys at Law, and asks the attorney – “How much do you charge for your legal services?” The attorney replies, “100USD for every 3 questions.” To which the main replies, “That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?” The attorney replies, “Yes it is. And what’s your third question?”

Joke No. 2:

Why are there so many lawyers in Washington and so many vultures in Arizona?

- Because Arizona had first choice…

Vocab:

Sęp- [Vulture]- gatunek ptaka padlinożernego z rodziny jastrzębiowatych

Real legal stories – from UK case law

Terms: rape (gwałt), acquiring sth under false pretences, burglar

That’s not my husband!

A married woman was asleep. A burglar broke into her house and came into her bedroom. It must have been very dark, because she took it to be her husband and invited the burglar to make love to her. Which he did. At some point she realized it was not her husband and freaked out, called the police. In court, the charge of rape had to be dropped as the definition of rape at that time defined rape as sex without consent – and the woman had apparently given consent. (The definition has since been expanded to include ‘modern’ examples of rape using drugs (‘date rape’ drugs) which also make the criterion of consent insufficient. A woman or man who is drugged might give consent without realizing what she is doing).  The court, however, held that the burglar had been guilty of ‘acquiring sex under false pretenses’ – i.e. he wrongfully allowed the woman to continue in her false belief that it was her husband. And he took advantage of that false belief.